Charlie and the Gruesome Factory
by dragonserpent18
Summary: Back to my old roots of dark humor. A wild ride that takes a gruesome and macabre interpretation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Meet Charlie Bucket, a cynical poor boy who hates cabbage; as he embarks on a path through a factory with four brats.
1. Joyous Days Begin

**Hello everyone! I know I was supposed to release this yesterday, but I needed another day. However, this story has had a long time coming! This is a request by Cooldude. I'm going back to my roots of dark humor. Be excited, for this will be an exciting ride!**

 **Chapter 1: Joyous Days Begin...Not!**

Hello everyone. My name is Charlie Bucket. Most see me as a sweet and innocent boy in their eyes, but I don't really care when it comes to disappointing everyone. Being poor and eating cabbages has made me cynical and mad. But who can blame me? Have you ever eaten cabbage? It's bloody awful! Not even cabbage; cabbage water is what we eat! It's absolutely bloody worse than bloody cabbage. We might as well be eating a bowl filled with vanilla pudding, served with a side of extra large snot! Although, considering I live with people who don't have enough water to wash their hands, it happens more often than you think. Also, why is our house the only one with a bloody fault line? Who modeled our house: Oliver Twist? Our house is more slanted than American politics, and I don't even live there! Some genius in our family decided it would be a good idea for a poor family to live in a tundra, where it's bloody -35 degrees on a good day! Somehow in my terrible life of eating snot cabbage and living in the cold with a partial roof over our heads (mostly because we have a hole in the roof the size of a cavern opening), I've managed to find a golden ticket by finding money in the streets. I don't want to know where that money came from (probably a prostitute who gave a guy a back-alley snozzberry twist), but I found the ticket nonetheless. Now I get to enjoy spending the day looking inside a factory with a bunch of unpleasant and classless jackholes...and then there are the kids, who are worse.

First, we have Augustus Gloop. Man, he is the poster child for "Fat Kids United." He could stop a train by just sitting on the tracks. He leaves so much food on his face, it's a wonder if he ever actually gets the food down his used-up, fallen-apart digestive tract. Next, we have Veruca Salt. She's saltier than the nuts her father works with. She didn't earn her ticket; but there she was, parading it on television with that creepy serial killer smile. After that, we have Violet Beauregarde, who chews gum way too much. She chews like a crocodile, and she also has the most charming personality: if you consider someone who's borderline sociopathic charming. Too bad she can't use all her trophies to buy herself a persona that isn't incredulously obnoxious. Lastly, we have Mike Teavee, who proves me wrong when I say I'll never see someone more cynical than me. He has the brain of a supercomputer, but the mentality of a total jackass.

After all this, you're probably wondering how absolutely bloody horrible tomorrow will be. Well, I for one will think it will go just nicely. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, we're having dinner in a minute. It's cabbage water again. I hate cabbages. I sat at the table, and I'm mad because my cabbage water didn't get enough snot in it this time. Maybe I should sneeze in it.

 **That's the chapter! I actually borrowed the "I hate cabbages" thing from a fanfic I read a long time ago. So, how did I do when it came to being incredibly vile and humorous? By the way, if you want a hint at my next story, pay attention to the first letter in each chapter. Stay tuned for what happens next, and have a great day!**


	2. Underwhelming

**Response Time: To Sonny April, why thank you, my good sir. To 13piecebucket, oh nonsense. You can never have too many of "bloody."**

 **Chapter 2: Underwhelming**

Here we are at the Chocolate Factory with my old fart- I mean my grandpa Joe Bucket. By the way, here's a good question. Have you ever wondered why everyone's last name is Bucket in my family? Well, think about it for a minute. How do you think people who have been bedridden for 20 years go to the bathroom? I'd like to tell you, but that might be a little too unsanitary. Snot jokes are bad enough as it is.

Either way, here we are sitting at the factory gate, looking at that gigantic factory. The more I think about how big it is, the more I think that he must be compensating for something, if you catch my meaning. I look around to see everyone bloody standing there, staring at each other like they don't know how to begin a conversation. Now I may be doing the same thing, but I'm poor. I have an excuse.

"Daddy, I want to go in," Veruca whined.

"It's 9:59, sweetheart," her father stated.

"Make time go faster."

What the fu- Shouldn't go that far. My apologies, but who in the bloody hell does this girl think her father is? The Doctor? I look to my left to listen to Augustus chew on his candy. I will be honest, it sounds like someone is chewing on a brick. Chewing even louder was Violet, who was next to the oaf. Her mother whispered something about taking out her eyes and putting them on the prize. I'm not sure if that was right, but I wouldn't be surprised if Violet did it. Mike just sat there with this dumbass look on his face. Maybe I should have checked his pulse, because he didn't make a sound for a solid minute and a half. Nevertheless, the gates opened quickly after that.

We all walked in straight to the doors; and when they opened up, I expected to see Willy Wonka. What I got instead was the greatest letdown since the snot cabbage yesterday. We got a puppet show. Let me repeat that for you: WE GOT A BLOODY PUPPET SHOW WITH BLOODY SINGING PUPPETS! Why in the bloody hell were there puppets? When Wonka's chair rose up, he wasn't even in it. Then again, considering the entire stage was immolated by roaring flames, I wouldn't have been in that chair either.

Suddenly we all hear clapping. Next to the salty one was this deranged-looking man. He had Violet's hair, Grandpa Joe's skin color, and the Mad Hatter's taste in clothing. When he was identified as Mr. Wonka, all I could say was, "Really?" He then looks like he has to throw up, he grabs the nearest trash can and actually throws up, and finally pulls out cue cards and tells us a pre-written greeting.

Inside, it was nice and toasty. The only good thing so far in this factory. Everyone introduces themselves, and it was the fakest thing I've ever seen. Violet knows martial arts, but she certainly has mastered the arts of buttkissery and putdownery. Veruca Salt put on the serial killer smile and made Wonka pull a Johnny Depp. I don't know what that means. I heard it once. Augustus had no one understand what he was saying at all. Mostly because the fat kid was still eating that same bar! After saying Mike was a devil and that I was "lucky," we walked (except Augustus, who waddled) down the hall.

Augustus taunted me with his candy bar like a creep, and Violet and Veruca were being unnaturally sweet to each other. I walked over to Mike, who immediately said, "This tour sucks."

I responded with, "Your face sucks." He looked at me with narrowed eyes before saying,

"You've earned my respect. You're my new best friend."

All I could say was, "Okay."

He then noticed Violet and Veruca before stating, "If they have a catfight, I'm selling tickets."

I laughed, "That's funny. You're even more cynical than I thought."

He bowed and said, "Thank you."

When we reached the end, Mr. Wonka unlocked this bloody tiny door, opening a room filled with heart-stopping, teeth-rotting, diarrhea-triggering, butthole-smoldering candy. This is the best day of my life.

 **That's the chapter! Be sure to keep reading, and as always, have a great day!**


	3. Man, Made From Chocolate

**Response Time: To 13piecebucket, you like it? I came up with it last minute. To Sonny April,** **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).**

 **Chapter 3: Man, Made from Chocolate**

The Chocolate Room, which is where we were all standing, was filled with plants, trees, grasslands filled to the brim with sugary sweets. I would be happy, but vegetation reminds me of cabbage. Which I hate. We learned about the river, which was hot-melted chocolate. Mr. Wonka talked about the waterfall, which makes chocolate light and frothy, with his gloves making the annoying squeaking as he made the motions. He also told us we can take it to the bank, but in case I didn't mention it earlier: I'm poor. We could apparently eat the grass and everything in the room, including Mr. Wonka himself. He mentioned cannibalism, and I'm not sure of the way I should take that. Either way you have it, he let us cavort around the room and try out anything. Augustus was the first to move (big surprise there), and everyone followed.

The first thing Mike did was step on pumpkins, but I didn't like that. I didn't care he was stepping on them, but what came out of them was disgusting. It looked like the pumpkins were filled with vomit. I see a bunch of vines with fresh apples growing on them. I may not be a botanist (because I live in a place surrounded by permafrost), but I know apples growing on vines can't be right. Either way, I walk up to it... I reach for an apple...and...HOLY SHITE! WHAT THE HELL? DID SOME BLOODY ARM JUST GRAB THAT APP- Oh thank God, it's only Violet. She looks at me with those alluring forest green eyes as she does one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen. She puts her bloody gum behind her bloody ear! How can she honestly look like she's trying to be attractive, while doing something so nasty? While I have the opportunity, let's deliberately try to piss her off.

"Why hold on to it?" I ask. "Why not start a new piece?"

Suddenly, those eyes turn from trying to attract me to being full-blown passive-aggressive.

"Because then I wouldn't be a champion. I'd be a loser, like you," She says as she storms away in anger. I don't seem to understand how these people can become more cynical than me! Am I just losing my touch? Maybe I should say something to myself that makes me upset, like mentioning snot cabbage. Yeah, that'll do.

Suddenly I hear little miss I-want-everything shout out for her daddy because she notices a little person by the waterfall. I come over there to see that there is more than one. These must be the workers that have been rumored to exist in the factory. But who are they?

Wonka tells us the story of Oompa-Loompas (I'm not joking. That's what they're called. I apologize if this sounds passively racist.), and how they came to the factory. It was a good story, except for the part where he licks his machete to taste the bug guts he just cut into. As much as I hate Violet's habit, the bug licking makes her gum-chewing sound pleasant in comparison. Of course, as I mull over these thoughts, I suddenly hear Augustus' mother call out for her son. Augustus is pigging out at the river, before suddenly falling in. Before anyone can do anything, he's pulled into a pipe.

The oompa-loompas suddenly start dancing and singing in a sound that sounds obviously rehearsed. They leave, and we're told the pipe is headed to the Fudge Room. Mr. Wonka has the pipes sped up and have them send him back as quick as possible. Within seconds, the oompa-loompas, wearing construction uniforms, bring Augustus back on a hand truck. Augustus is not the same person we saw minutes ago. He was encased in chocolate that burned anyone touching it. He looked like a chocolate statue, to be accurate. Suddenly, Mike bursts out in a hyena laughter and starts cracking jokes.

"Hey Charlie! Is it just me, or does he look sad? He really needs to "lighten up"!

Augustus got mad, which made the chocolate encasing him start to burn. This prompted Mike to say, "Easy, Augustus! Don't have a meltdown!" Augustus got madder and tried to speak, but he learned he could only mumble.

I responded by saying, "You know, you really shouldn't mumble. We can't understand what you're saying." This made even Violet had to stifle her laughter. But Mike topped that with a really evil joke.

"Yeah, I mean what's the matter? 'Fat' got your tongue?" Mr. Wonka himself bit his own tongue to stop himself from laughing. Mr. Wonka ushered us toward a boat, where everyone sat down (except Augustus, who had to stand) as we began to maneuver across the river for the next part of the tour.

 **That's the chapter! I sincerely hope I didn't offend anyone with the jokes. If I did, I humbly apologize. Stay tuned for the Inventing Room, and as always, have a great day!**


	4. A Feeling of Blue

**Response Time: To Sonny April, I knew you'd like it.**

 **Chapter 4: A Feeling of Blue**

While inside the boat, Mike was licking the side of it, prompting Mr. Wonka to say, "Don't lick my boat. You're gonna make it all sticky." Mr. Wonka, presuming I was poor (which he's right), took out a ladle and dipped into into the river before offering it to me. I'm poor. I don't like handouts, as much as people would assume. However, I drank that shite, and so did my grandpa. I hope Mr. Wonka's okay with snot on the ladle (I can't stop with the snot stuff, can't I? Maybe I should). He repeated what he said about the waterfall beforehand, which made him ridiculed. Can't say I blame anybody, considering there's something not all right upstairs with him.

Mr. Wonka was suddenly in this flashback stare after I asked him something. He looked like he was on LSD. I'm poor, so I know what it is. I finally had to get him to wake up so he could see WE WERE HEADING FOR A BLOODY TUNNEL! Suddenly, he says, "Full speed ahead." I'm usually not one to judge things at face value; but if your heading for a dark tunnel, and you can't see shite, should you be really going faster? It's one thing to do it on a train, but in case everyone forgot: BOATS DON'T RUN ON TRACKS! There was a sudden drop, and then- OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH! WHY ARE WE BLOODY FALLING! Actually, this is great, so never mind that last bit. Not everyone was enjoying it. Mike must be the type who hates roller-coasters, because he did not like it. It was rather satisfying to see the scared look on Violet's face, as well as Veruca screaming that she did not want a boat anymore.

After a long ride, awkward conversation about hair cream, possible animal abuse, and another set of twists and turns, we had made it to our destination. It was the inventing room. Everyone walked inside (except Augustus, who as a statue, shifted side to side to move). Mr. Wonka said this was the most important room in the entire factory. I could have sworn I heard him say the same thing about the Chocolate Room. Oh, well. Oh, you'll love to hear this. Mr. Wonka tells us not to touch anything. What is the first thing Mike and Violet do? They touch something. *TRIGGERED*

We learn about Everlasting Gobstoppers, which are these balls that you can suck on all year. They'll also never get any smaller. The ones I were seeing were all red. I pictured myself sucking on those red balls all year. Violet thought they were like gum. Unfortunately, sucking is much different than chewing. And if you laughed at any of this paragraph, you have a dirty mind.

Next up was Hair Toffee. We learned how if you "sucked down one of these little boogers" (Again, another snot joke in a story already filled with them!), you could grow new hair, a mustache, and a beard. Mike was the unfortunate one who asked, "Who wants a beard?"

"Well," Mr. Wonka says, "Beatniks for one. Folk singers and motorbike riders. You know, all those hip, jazzy, super-cool, neat, keen and groovy cats. It's in the fridge, daddy-o. Are you hep to the jive? Can you dig what I'm laying down? I knew that you could! Slide me some skin, soul brother!" (Need I remind you I just recited that through memory.) Mike understandably did not reciprocate one of the most amusing and confusing moments of my life. Needless to say, it was amusing. Made my day, it did.

When approaching the next machine, Violet asked, "Mr. Wonka, what's this one?"

Mr. Wonka did not answer, and instead pulled a lever. Everything began to bubble and steam. The machine lurched forward, and a little device opened up. When it was done, it produced a piece of gum with a "DING" noise. I won't deny it, as cynical as I am, the "DING" was adorable. Violet grabbed it (no surprise there) and looked at it while Mr. Wonka explained about it. It was a gum that was a three-course-meal. You're telling me my poor ass can have a meal off a stick of gum? Sign me and my family up- never mind, Violet's already chewing it.

She started boasting and bragging about how good it was. It made me want to snatch it out of her mouth. I don't care how unsanitary that is. Unfortunately, Mr. Wonka told her to stop, and we quickly figured out why. Mike's eye's bugged out like a frog, and Veruca was smiling again. Violet's face was turning blue. Apparently, the gum is flawed, and the blueberry pie was the cause of it. It's also addictive, so you can't stop. Talk about a bad day right there.

She turned blue, before surprising us all by inflating swiftly. It was disgusting to the eyes, and it made me miss her gum chewing. She was the size of a 20-foot tall blueberry. We heard another rehearsed song (Sounds weird, doesn't it), with Mr. Wonka getting jiggy with it, so he says. However, just before moving Violet's body, she exploded. Her entire body suddenly exploded on us. Mike had his hands out, and caught Violet's head. Everyone in the room simultaneously screamed.

To our surprise, Violet's head said, "Guys, please, you're hurting my ears." Violet's head wasn't blue anymore, but it was talking. This made everyone scream a second time.

"You survived that?" I asked. "How?"

Mike smiled and said, "Hold on Charlie, let's not get a"head" of ourselves."

I responded, "True, we don't want her to have a headache."

Mike countered, "After all, she was blue enough as it is."

I replied, "Now that one slayed me!"

Violet looked very mad, but she started laughing at this one. Mike held her head in his hands as he tucked his head in his shirt and said, "Hey Charlie, who am I?"

I replied, "The Headless Horseman!"

Mr. Wonka suddenly said, "I think we should just move on. Someone keep holding her head. We've got to keep moving."

 **That's the incredibly long chapter! By the way, Friday's chapter will be delayed by a few hours. Have a great day!**


	5. Nuttier Than A Fruitcake

**Response Time: To Sonny April, It won't be that way forever.**

 **Chapter 5: Nuttier Than A Fruitcake**

Mr. Wonka led us down a tunnel. We had to stop along the wall, because Violet's head had to throw up. She had difficulty trying to cope with the fact that she's just a head now, but she was trying. It made me feel bad, until I thought of a head of cabbage. As we approached some stairs, Violet stopped us.

"Would you put me down, Mike? I want to try something." He put her head down, and she rolled down the stairs by herself. She got a few bruises (and possibly a concussion), but she was overall okay.

"I'm getting tired. Charlie, you hold her head," Mike said.

"Oh no, you don't," Violet refused. "He might drop me on purpose because he hates my guts."

I disagreed, "First off, you don't have a body. There's no 'guts' to hate. Secondly, there's only one thing I hate, and that's cabbage."

"Charlie!" Grandpa Joe scolded.

"You hate it, too. Don't deny it."

"Okay, he's not wrong," Grandpa Joe agreed.

"If you were to say sorry, maybe I would not dislike you. After all, you don't chew that nasty gum anymore. Speaking of which, what happens if you were to eat?" I asked.

"I don't know, but I guess I should apologize for calling you a loser. You're not, but you are cynical."

"Fair enough. But I like that. Mike's my best friend now. Just tell him his face sucks." Charlie held Violet's head up to Mike's face and did exactly what Charlie said. Mike again repeated,

"You've earned my respect. You're also my best friend now."

All three looked at Mr. Wonka, who was in that flashback stare again. Does he do that a lot?

"mmppph mmm mmmmph mrrpph," Augustus mumbled. I think it translates to "He's been like that for five minutes."

Mr. Wonka broke out of the flashback and said. "Ah, Woodstock. What, uhhhh...it's not what you think! So what happened?"

"Well," I said. "Violet, Mike and I are best buds now."

In a hippie voice, he said, "Right on. I mean, that's wonderful. Shall we roll on?"

Mike asked him, "How old are you?"

Augustus mumbled, "mmmph mmm mmrmp. mmmrph mmmmph mmmph." Translating to "You shouldn't mumble. We can't hear you."

We then arrived at a new room, labeled The Nut Sorting Room. I imagined all of the nuts, all those nuts being sorted among themselves. Then I thought of me eating all those nuts. Those nuts looked so fresh in my mind. All the nuts being dropped all over me. If you laughed at _this_ paragraph, you have a dirty mind. I was just talking about nuts.

Before we went in, a headless robot started running towards us. It ran into a wall before picking up Violet's head and screwing it into place. "Ah, that's what I was hoping for. This robot body is for those who exploded before I could get them to the Juicing Room. It's happened a couple times, so we've had some spares. So, Violet, you now have a body to move around in. Unfortunately, it may be a little buggy."

Without warning, her robot hand slapped Mike's dad across the face. "I am so sorry, sir. The arm spasmed."

"That's what I meant by buggy," Mr. Wonka said.

Inside the nut room, there were squirrels around. They were sorting the good nuts from the bad nuts. They looked nuttier than the nuts they were sorting. Immediately, Veruca wants one and tries to steal one. Without warning, they jumped her.

"Oh My!" I exclaimed.

"Look at them all!" Mike shouted.

"Oh, No!" Violet said.

"mmmph!" Augustus mumbled.

The squirrels grabbed Veruca, backed up a little, and threw Veruca into the garbage shoot like a javelin. Another oompa-loompa song is performed, but suddenly flames arise out of the garbage chute.

"What happened?" Mr. Salt just said in shock. Veruca suddenly launched out of the chute like a cannonball. When she got up, she had no face.

Before Mike said anything, Veruca said, "Don't even start. Okay, maybe just one joke. I have it coming."

Mike said, "I just wanted to say that your chances of winning just went up in flames." He high-fived Violet and I (Violet accidentally spasmed again and slapped Mike across the face instead), while Veruca glared at him.

Mr. Wonka was creeped out, "You look scary with just your skull. How about we move to our next location?"

 **That's the chapter! Hope it was worth the wait! Stay tuned and have a great day!**


	6. Joking With the Best

**Response Time: To Sonny April, well, not really. It's just her face that's burned off. Everything else is fine.**

 **Chapter 6: Joking With the Best**

Here we arrived at the Great Glass Elevator, which was like the boat, except it shifted too quickly. He pressed a button and the elevator made our faces slam against the door. Wonka laughing at that happening pissed me off like an angry wasp. When its all said and done, the elevator is kind of relaxing. In a scary-arse relaxing way. We past various rooms, including the Puppet Hospital & Burn Center, which I like to call the Norman Bates Treatment Center. It wasn't long before Mike wanted to pick a room. His first instinct was to choose the Television Room. We slammed our faces into the wall before turning to the Television Room.

We stepped out, but not without Violet having an arm spasm and punching a hole through the elevator. She smiled in that, "I didn't mean to" way as Mr. Wonka looked at her with a glare.

"This is my latest and greatest invention: Television Chocolate. Basically, I thought to myself about how television works. Thinking about how you can take a picture and send it to any TV in the world. I thought: why can't I do the same thing with Chocolate? So this room exists for that sole purpose."

Veruca said, "Daddy, I want a Television Room."

Mike replied, "What you really want is a blue hood so you can be Skeletor for Halloween."

I asked Mr. Wonka, "I don't seem to really see how it works.

Mr. Wonka pointed to the other side of the room, and we saw Oompa-Loompas placing a giant bar of chocolate on a pedestal. Again, I thought about Mr. Wonka compensating for something. Mr. Wonka poked Violet on the robotic arm, which made her spasm and hit the start button. The chocolate rose into the air before shimmering and disappearing. Mike immediately said, "Cool! I'm going to try!"

He pushed the button and ran to the pedestal. Before anyone could stop him, he already vanished. Everyone moved to the TV to see the chocolate bar form as well as Mike himself. "Hey everyone! The bar's still giant!"

I told him, "That's because you shrunk!"

"Sweet!" He exclaimed. "Quick, Charlie! Think of some short jokes!"

"I don't know. That's pretty small thinking."

"Go on."

"Are you going to get mad? I'd hate to see you blow a short fuse."

"That's an okay one. Violet, come up with one!"

"Okay," Violet said. "I'd pickpocket you, but I'd never stoop so low."

"That's a good one. Veruca?"

"No. You'll ask me to loan money afterwards, and I can't. I'm a little short."

"Classic. How about you, Augustus?"

"mmmph mmmrmrmrmrmr mmr mppph."

Mr. Wonka said, "Unfortunately, as much fun as this is, I have to take care of this." He picked up Mike, moved him to this taffy puller, and stretched him way too quick. "Oops. I may have overdone it." All of Mike's nerves were shot. He couldn't feel anything. To establish this, he said...

"I can't feel anything."

"Well at least you get to hear your song," Mr. Wonka said. "It's so good, I can't even hide that it's rehearsed.

"I KNEW IT!" I shouted.

 _The most important thing, that we've ever learned,_

 _The most important thing we've learned,_

 _So far as children are concerned,_

 _Is never, NEVER, NEVER let_

 _Them near your television set_

 _Or better still, just don't install_

 _The idiotic thing at all._

 _Never Ever Let Them_

 _Never Ever Let Them_

 _Ooh Ooh_

 _Never Ever Let Them_

 _It rots the senses in the head!_

 _It kills Imagination dead!_

 _It clogs and clutters up the mind!_

 _It makes a child so dull and blind!_

 _So Dull So Dull !_

 _He can no Longer understand_

 _A fairytale, a fairyland!_

 _A Fairyland a Fairyland!_

 _His brain becomes as soft as cheese!_

 _His thinking powers rust and freeze!_

 _He cannot think he only sees!_

 _He only Sees_

 _He only Sees_

 _Regarding little Mike Teavee,_

 _We very much regret that we_

 _Shall simply have to wait and see_

 _If we can get him back his height._

 _But if we can't it serves him right._

"Well, that was awesome," Mike said.

"Yes it was. And now, I think it's time for something really important to tell everyone," Mr. Wonka stated.

 **That's the chapter! The finale is tomorrow, so stay tuned and have a great day!**


	7. In the Winner Circle

**Response Time: To Sonny April, just wait and see. If you're reading this Cooldude, I'd like to know of your opinion.**

 **Chapter 7: In the Winner Circle**

"Now, I must give you all important information. Hold on a second." Mr. Wonka grabs a few cue cards and reads them. "Dear guests, it has been long enough for your waiting. Your patience will now be rewarded, as I am to announce the special prize. The winner of this prize is a great person, a real definition of honor. The person is going to receive the special prize. I have finally chosen the winner, and the winner is Insert Name Here!"

"Wait, what?" Mike asked.

"Oops. I forgot the cue card still said that. The winner I have chosen is Charlie Bucket!"

I opened my eyes in amazement. I won the prize! Just a poor boy who hates cabbages? I never thought I'd see the day.

"Congratulations, my friend!" Mike said.

"You did it, Charlie!" Violet said while slapping me because she spasmed again.

"Well done, Charles," Veruca praised.

"mmmph!" Augustus mumbled.

"So what is the prize?" I asked.

"Well, the prize is the factory. You see, my semi-annual haircut (I always loved that line) revealed to me I was getting older. I knew I had to find someone to look after the factory after I leave this earth someday. I knew I had to find an heir, and I chose you. So Charlie, are you ready to leave the life of cabbage-hating and cynicism and live in the factory along with your family?"

I looked at Mike and Violet. It was my cynicism that gave me their friendship. If I leave that, I won't ever be their- Wait what am I saying? This isn't some fairytale! This shite is real life! I'm my own person!

"Mr. Wonka, I can't change my intense hatred of cabbage and my cynical lifestyle. But I'll live in the factory, though."

"It's a deal," He said while smiling.

From that day onward, things turned from droll and pathetic to amazing. A few days after, we fixed the others. It took a few hours of chiseling (with a blowtorch), but Augustus was finally broken out of that chocolate-statue-state. Violet's fixing was rather fun. We found her body parts scattered around, so we de-juiced them all (restoring them all back completely). We sewed them all up and then sewed her head to the body. Aside from being covered in stitches, she looked the same way she came into the factory. Veruca's was tough, but we fixed her, too. We gave her a candy that regrows skin, repairing her face back. It was difficult because the candy needed tweaking. It kept making people look like Donald Trump, and you how scary that thought is. Mike couldn't be fixed, so he had to stay that way. Eventually, the feeling in his nerves comes and goes, so it's half-fixed? I see the others visit every now and then, so things are great. To think, this all started from hating cabbages, huh?

 **That's the finale! I will be on a break, so here's an announcement! If you notice, the first letter in each chapter title spells out "JUMANJI." That is because next story is a story about Charlie finding the Jumanji game and playing it with Violet, Mike and Veruca! To make things better, it will be premiering on Halloween! Stay tuned for that, and as always, have a nice day!**


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